When Did You First Become Aware?

ink sketch

Did you ever think all the people you know are diverse manifestations of your own personality?

Exhilarating and frightening, isn't it.

 Friends, family, lovers, enemies, acquaintances, all puzzle pieces of your whole. 

When I was eleven, I had a friend named Leslie. Leslie and I were like the cartoon characters, Mutt and Jeff. I was tall, lanky and awkward; Leslie was short, chubby and shy.

We would be the last ones picked for anything, so we naturally bonded together, and became close friends. 

The year was 1962; the place, Joliet, IL. I lived in a house divided into four apartments. Ours was on the ground floor. My grade school was within walking distance and both my parents worked.  

I had a key. 

After school Leslie and I would walk home and hang out. Very liberating for eleven year olds with no adult supervision. I don't recall the mischief we made, but I'm sure there was some. 

Of all those many walks home, there is one that remains poetically clear, these 53 years later.

 It was warm and the sun was bright. Leslie and I walked to the door of  my apartment, I placed the key into the lock. Leslie was saying something, I turned to listen and the sun took up all the space in the hallway, creating a shimmering halo around her curly red hair. 

It became very quiet. Everything slowed down and in that moment of stillness, I saw the essence of Leslie, and it was luminous, 

Leslie was the gateway to transcendence which allowed me to see the possibility of living a life beyond one of quiet desperation*.  

Thinking back I realize this was my heart opening up and allowing the manifestation of unconditional love to become aware. 

*(Thoreau; The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them).